#333- Journey of Attachment: A Servant to Neediness
Depending on someone else for your emotional needs is a powerless position… but being a servant to someone else’s needs is just as powerless. I’m not talking about being supportive or caring, both of which are important in a healthy relationship. I’m talking about assuming the responsibility of someone else’s emotional well-being, and vice versa. The problem is that even if it makes them feel good in the moment, it won’t last because you can’t make up for what they don’t provide for themselves.
If you don’t feel like a priority in your relationship, believing everything and everyone else comes before you, you probably build up resentment because your needs aren’t being fulfilled. Maybe one night he/she makes dinner to show that you’re special, which feels great in the moment, but the next day things go back to normal. Your remain in this unhappy place because you are relying on your partner to make you feel important instead of looking at where you don’t make yourself (or your feelings) a priority.
When you take care of someone else’s emotional needs, or rely on them to take care of yours, your happiness will always be temporary. And it’s a powerless position because no one, I repeat NO ONE, is responsible for your happiness but you. Believing otherwise will lead you down a frustrating, unfulfilling road. Give yourself what you need first. That’s the only way you will be able to authentically give and receive emotional support with a partner.
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