#391- Journey of Attachment: I Feel Sorry for Me; I’m With a Narcissist
Most people have narcissistic tendencies, it is part of what keeps human beings alive. Without it, no one would be here. The problem with slapping that label on your partner is that it may prevent you from seeing and acknowledging your own stuff. No one is in a position to judge others, and doing so is often a reflection of how you see yourself because other people are mirrors for your own behavior. If you want to solve the “narcissistic” issue and feel a sense of well-being, instead of disempowerment, you have to take responsibility for the red flags you ignored. Even if you ARE in a relationship with a narcissist, you have to ask yourself why you’re there.
Labeling others is just another form of blame, and it is used to avoid taking responsibility for your actions. When you look for sympathy for your situation from the person you’re with instead of owning your role in being there, it keeps you stuck in victimhood. Love cannot be earned through blame or manipulation. Instead of wanting sympathy and to be reassured you’re the good one, take your power back by acknowledging you have a choice in who you are with. No one forced you to be in this relationship. The deeper questions you want to ask yourself are why are you there? What validation are you looking for? The goal isn’t to change the “narcissist” because of course you have no control over them. Instead, focus on yourself so you can move from victim to empowered.
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