#575 – Journey Of Attachment: Setting Boundaries (REBROADCAST)
You may think boundaries are set for the benefit of others, and get angry when they aren’t followed. But you probably go against your own boundaries all the time without realizing it. People take their cues from how you treat yourself, so if you’re upset about putting in extra effort despite expressing your need for help and you keep doing it, look at how you continue to pick up the slack. If your partner is constantly making plans with you at the last minute, despite you asking him/her to plan ahead, you have to ask why you stay in a relationship with yourself where you are disrespecting you which is then reflected in this relationship where you don’t feel like a priority. Even if you yell at them or punish them for their unacceptable behavior, you’re still allowing it to happen, because you are not respecting you.
Boundaries are not the responsibility of others, they are yours. If your boundaries aren’t being respected, look at whether YOU are respecting them. Telling someone what you want or what is acceptable is not enough; you need to back it up with action in how you treat yourself. Show them, don’t tell them. If you have to tell someone you have to ask yourself again, “What am I doing here?” Start treating yourself the way you want to be treated. And if your actions DO support your boundaries but someone isn’t respecting them, it’s probably time to make a new choice in that relationship.
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