#549 – Journey of Attachment: Why Do We Believe We Are Meant To Be Rescued?
You’re always hoping your next partner will be different; better. But what does that boil down to? What are you truly looking for? If you’re honest with yourself, you might be looking for someone to rescue you because deep down you want to be taken care of. You want someone to fill the emptiness you feel inside. It goes back to childhood, and it keeps intimacy at a distance because you’re waiting for something that won’t ever happen.
If you grew up in a household with an Avoidant, vulnerability was scary and unwelcomed, but shame and blame were plentiful. No one took responsibility for their actions. That’s where your fantasies of being rescued were probably born. Avoidance creates a sense of lack, which you believe can only be filled by another person. But how does it make sense for someone to put all of their attention on you while you put zero attention on yourself? It doesn’t. And that crazy expectation leads to a lot of pain. Listen to this week’s episode where I talk about the rescue fantasy: how to acknowledge it, understand it and stop perpetuating it. Because that proverbial white knight who will save you from your current existence isn’t coming.
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