Posts by Shelley
#246- Searching For Your Life’s Purpose
#246- Searching For Your Life’s Purpose How often do you ask yourself why you’re here, and what your purpose is? I think everyone wrestles with this at some point in their life. You might be looking for signs you’re headed in the right direction so you don’t make a “wrong” decision and possibly fail. Maybe you’ve…
Read More#245- Journey of Attachment: Dating Someone Who’s in Another Relationship
#245- Journey of Attachment: Dating Someone Who’s in Another Relationship This is a pretty taboo topic: dating someone who is in another relationship. I hear from a lot of people in this kind of attached relationship entanglement (and yes, it’s always rooted in insecure attachment). There’s often a fight between wanting to put an expiration…
Read More#244- When Others Judge, It’s Really About How You Judge Yourself
#244- When Others Judge, It’s Really About How You Judge Yourself judgment Your inner judge provokes a reaction from your negative core beliefs, making you feel justified, angry and/or ashamed. If your partner says they are leaving you because you don’t love him/her enough or that you’re selfish, it might trigger the belief that you’re…
Read More#243- Journey of Attachment: No One Else Shares Your Reality
#243- Journey of Attachment: No One Else Shares Your Reality Even if you agree with someone much of the time, you don’t see everything the same way. There is no objective reality; it’s always colored by your childhood, experiences and biases. Yet you probably expend time and energy trying to get people to see things…
Read More#242- People Aren’t Objects; We Are Built For Connection
#242- People Aren’t Objects; We Are Built For Connection A healthy relationship has nothing to do with finding that perfect person, or someone who doesn’t trigger you emotionally. It’s about intimacy and connection, which are bound to poke those triggers. This isn’t a bad thing, and instead of shoving the pain down, it’s better to…
Read More#241- Journey of Attachment: Reacting To Events That Didn’t Happen The Way You Remember
#241- Journey of Attachment: Reacting To Events That Didn’t Happen The Way You Remember Your version of reality is very much your own; no one else sees the world exactly the same way you do. This becomes particularly muddled when you reflect back on events, making yourself out to be a martyr, victim, rescuer or…
Read More#240- Stop Mentally Managing Your Life
#240- Stop Mentally Managing Your Life When your head talks you in and out of things, it means your mind is in control and your emotions are out of reach. Mentally managing everything leads to second guessing your decisions so you’re never truly at peace. Anxiety kicks in and you become overwhelmed because you’re…
Read MoreWhy You Keep Attracting The Wrong Partners
You’re sick of dating and the series of dead-end relationships you find yourself in. It’s just plain painful, tedious and brings up every fear you don’t want to confront. You feel like you’re always starting over, never sure why your “picker” is off. You keep attracting the wrong partners, which inevitably leads to asking WHAT…
Read More#239- Journey of Attachment: Overreacting To What You Can’t Control
#239- Journey of Attachment: Overreacting To What You Can’t Control When things feel out of control, it can undermine you, sending you spiraling. You may find yourself in a pit of anxiety, despair, anger, etc. because you realize your control was an illusion. Maybe you wake up one morning and something sets you off, like an…
Read More#238- When a Relationship Ends and You Feel Like the Bad Guy
#238- When a Relationship Ends and You Feel Like the Bad Guy Do you ever regret how relationships end? I’m not talking strictly intimate relationships; this goes for all relationships: friends, colleagues, family, etc. When a relationship ends poorly, maybe you feel like the bad guy, regardless of your role. The problem is, it doesn’t stop…
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