Posts by Shelley
#314- Self-Protection Leads to More Pain, Not Less
#314- Self-Protection Leads to More Pain, Not Less You know those strategies you have to emotionally protect yourself from pain? Yeah, they don’t work. Because there is no such thing as emotional protection; you still get hurt, you’re still in pain. Safeguarding against it is an illusion, and half the time those same strategies actually help…
Read MoreSurviving to Thriving: Kelli Miller
Surviving to Thriving: Overcoming My Darkest Moment Kelli Miller In this episode of “Surviving to Thriving: Overcoming My Darkest Moment,” I talk with psychotherapist, radio host and author, Kelli Miller. Kelli grew up as a bit of a control freak, believing working harder was the way to make things happen. This manifested as an eating…
Read More#313- Journey of Attachment: Why Berating or Ignoring Someone Backfires
#313- Journey of Attachment: Why Berating or Ignoring Someone Backfires When you try to control someone by berating them or giving them the silent treatment, you don’t think about the actual impact it has. You think you’ll be able to motivate them into doing what you want, but instead you push them away. Do you…
Read More#312- Whining and Complaining: The Road to Nowhere
#312- Whining and Complaining: The Road to Nowhere We pretty much all hate whiners, so why do we do it ourselves? Maybe you use a different word like “complain” or “vent,” but it’s basically all focusing on a problem. Some people are so used to complaining, they do it even after the problem is solved—on autopilot.…
Read More#311- Journey of Attachment: Explode, Beg, Repeat—A Circle of Hell
#311- Journey of Attachment: Explode, Beg, Repeat—A Circle of Hell When you explode on your partner, what often follows is guilt and shame. You regret what you did so you try to crawl out from the hole you just dug to pick up the pieces and get back to where you were before you exploded. Or…
Read More#310- We’re All F*cking Annoying
#310- We’re All F*cking Annoying When something annoys you, causing you to complain, get defensive, etc., it is a reflection of what already lives inside you. It’s a reaction to wanting something to change that you have no control over. And as long as you’re looking for someone to change their annoying ways, you give them…
Read MoreSurviving to Thriving: Sarah Poet
Surviving to Thriving: Overcoming My Darkest Moment Sarah Poet In this episode of “Surviving to Thriving: Overcoming My Darkest Moment,” I talk with mother, writer and Soul Doula, Sarah Poet. Growing up in a religious household, Sarah’s free-spirited nature was never nurtured. She always felt there was something inside that wasn’t allowed to exist. Her…
Read More#309- Journey of Attachment: Why You Don’t Trust Yourself
#309- Journey of Attachment: Why You Don’t Trust Yourself People who are insecurely attached have trouble trusting themselves because they got negative reinforcement for their choices as a kid: punishment, neglect, etc. If this is you, you are constantly looking for clues about what you’re “supposed” to do, needing reassurance around every step you make. You…
Read More#308- I Wish You Were Different: The Road to Acceptance
#308- I Wish You Were Different: The Road to Acceptance It’s one thing to know intellectually you can’t change people, but it’s different to actually feel and accept it. Even if you tell yourself they’re never going to change, you can still find yourself angry because you want things to be different. You want THEM to…
Read More#307- Journey of Attachment: Where Did All The Good Men Go? A Conversation With My Hubs
#307- Journey of Attachment: Where Did All The Good Men Go? A Conversation With My Hubs Welcome to another podcast with my husband! The flood gates have opened. This time we’re talking about emotional availability and what an emotionally available man looks for in a woman. Of course the first part of that equation is that…
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